Men vs women in relationships: who lies and cheats more?

Seven relationship questions: the international results

Each percentage below is the published share answering yes to an “ever” question. It measures whether respondents reported having done something, not how regularly they did it, whether it happened in their current relationship or whether they still do it.

Differences are calculated from the original published percentages. A percentage point gap is a subtraction: for example, 31% minus 17% is 14 percentage points. It is not a 14% relative increase.

James and Jessica: the relationship survey comic

Our original comic brings the survey themes together in the story of James and Jessica. It is an illustration inspired by the research, not a case history of two actual respondents or a claim that all these behaviours occur together in one relationship.

Men and women in relationships: results by country

The full published table shows nine countries alongside the international results. Other countries also contributed to the international figures, so that final row should not be treated as a simple average of the nine countries shown.

All values reproduce the original results table. M = men; F = women. “Dumped via text” covers text / email; “Said I love you” means saying it without meaning it. Country and gender subgroup sizes are not provided in the original article.

Made up excuses to avoid a date: 41% of women, 33% of men

Women reported inventing an excuse more often than men internationally, an eight point gap. The same direction appeared in eight of the nine country comparisons. The exception was the Netherlands, where 32% of men and 29% of women answered yes.

Among the countries shown, South African women reported the highest female result at 57%, followed by British women at 50% and Canadian women at 48%. Indian men had the lowest male figure at 24%, while Dutch women had the lowest female figure at 29%.

The original comments named familiar everyday explanations. A claimed illness or work problem is not proof of a lie: these lists concern occasions respondents themselves described as invented.

The finding is about avoiding an uncomfortable conversation as much as avoiding a date. The survey did not quantify motives, so it cannot tell us how often fear of a reaction, politeness or simple disinterest lay behind an excuse.

Breaking up by text or email: 32% of women, 20% of men

This was the second largest international gender gap, at 12 percentage points. Women reported ending a relationship this way more often in eight of the nine countries. South Africa was the exception: 22% of men versus 20% of women.

French women had the highest female figure at 51%, compared with 23% of French men. That 28 point gap was the largest country level difference for this question. Australian women and men followed with a 26 point gap, at 39% and 13% respectively.

The data identifies the method used, not the length of the relationship or the reason for choosing it. A text breakup and cheating are different behaviours; a yes answer here does not automatically establish dishonesty. The original comments show that the wording and circumstances could matter as much as the medium.

Lying on a dating profile: a minority in both groups

The international results were 19% of men and 16% of women. This was the smallest of the seven gender gaps. Most respondents in both groups did not report lying on their profile.

Among the countries shown, male figures ranged from 16% in South Africa to 25% in Germany; female figures ranged from 6% in the Netherlands to 29% in Australia. Women reported higher rates than men in the UK, India, Australia and France, reversing the international direction.

Privacy is different from misleading a potential partner

Some respondents described using another name or withholding their exact location for safety. That distinction is central to our original message: protecting identifying information is different from deceiving someone about relationship status or intentions.

At Saucy Dates, we recommend a pseudonym and a separate email address that does not expose work or personal information. Our online dating privacy guide explains this approach in more detail.

What did the other profile accounts describe?

The original comments also included claims about age, height, weight, wealth and relationship status. Some attached respondents said they disclosed their status; others described concealing it. These comments illustrate different kinds of answers, but do not establish a numerical breakdown of each type of lie or a rule for all men or women.

Faking an orgasm: the largest international difference

31% of women and 17% of men reported having faked an orgasm. The 14 point gap was larger than the difference for any other question. However, the country breakdown shows that the international pattern was not universal.

Women reported higher rates in six countries, men in Germany and the Netherlands, and both groups were equal in France at 23%. The largest gaps were in Australia, at 49% of women versus 17% of men, and the UK, at 47% versus 15%: 32 points in each case.

The original comments from both groups included wanting an encounter to end and not wanting to hurt a partner’s feelings. Some men also mentioned pressure to finish; some women described trying to encourage a partner or avoid embarrassment. These are reported explanations, not proven causes or a measure of how often each motive occurred.

The practical message is about communication, rather than performance. The survey provides no way to diagnose a partner’s experience from their behaviour. Our sex talk survey explores another side of that conversation.

Who cheats more: men or women?

Men reported cheating more often internationally: 31% versus 27% of women. The difference was four percentage points, smaller than the gaps for faking an orgasm, text breakups or invented date excuses. Neither group was overwhelmingly more likely to report cheating in the combined results.

The country comparisons tell a more varied story. Women reported higher rates in the UK, Canada, India and Australia; men reported higher rates in the US, South Africa, Germany, the Netherlands and France.

The largest country differences in cheating

• India: 35% of women versus 16% of men, a 19 point gap.
• The Netherlands: 29% of men versus 11% of women, an 18 point gap in the opposite direction.
• The UK: 36% of women versus 35% of men, only a one point gap.
• Canada: 31% of women versus 29% of men, a two point gap.

South African men and Australian women each had the highest figure for their respective gender among the countries listed, at 39%.

Respondents’ comments mentioned dissatisfaction, a perceived lack of attention and retaliation after discovering a partner’s cheating. Those explanations do not excuse the behaviour or prove what causes cheating. The survey did not match couples, so similar overall rates cannot show that people who cheat tend to partner with each other.

For another perspective, see our survey about ending a relationship or forgiving after cheating.

Thinking about someone else during sex: common, but not the same as cheating

The international table records 53% of men and 47% of women. It was the most frequently reported answer among both groups across the seven questions.

Among women in the countries listed, Australia had the highest figure at 65%, followed by the UK at 58%. Among men, the US led at 57%, followed by the UK at 56%. Women reported higher rates than men in the UK, India and Australia.

The original comments mentioned former partners, celebrities, colleagues and other people respondents found attractive. They show a range of thoughts, rather than evidence that everyone imagines the same type of person. Nor does a private thought establish an intention to act on it.

This distinction matters to the article’s larger question. If seven very different behaviours are grouped under “deception”, readers can miss the difference between a thought, an awkward conversation and a breach of an agreed relationship boundary.

Saying “I love you” without meaning it

36% of men and 29% of women said they had done this: a seven point gap internationally. Men reported higher rates in six of the nine countries; women reported higher rates in the UK, India and Australia.

The Netherlands had the largest gap, at 33% of men versus 11% of women, followed by Germany at 32% versus 11%. Indian women recorded the highest female figure at 47%, and South African men the highest male figure at 40%, among the countries shown.

The original comments described wanting to avoid hurting someone, feeling pressured to reciprocate, confusion about feelings and, in some cases, personal advantage. The survey did not count these motivations separately. Its useful message is that the same phrase can conceal very different intentions, and an apparently kind reassurance can still leave another person with a misleading understanding of a relationship.

The original “gender awards”

The original article included the following tongue in cheek country awards. They are retained as part of the original story, rather than presented as a validated measure of national character or ethics. The article did not publish a scoring method, so these rankings should not be used to predict an individual’s honesty.

Survey methodology: what 45,526 responses can tell us

Our original international survey asked 45,526 people seven questions about their relationship experiences: whether they had ever ended a relationship by text or email, invented an excuse to avoid a date, cheated, faked an orgasm, lied on a dating profile, said they loved someone when they did not, or thought about someone else during sex.

The table gives the published percentages answering yes, separated into men and women. The international results include countries beyond the nine shown. This expanded article retains the original table and comic; the additional comparisons are calculations from those published percentages, not new fieldwork.

The original report does not supply fieldwork dates, country and gender subgroup counts, age distributions, response rates or a weighting method. A large total sample does not by itself make every country comparison representative. Without subgroup counts and the survey design, we cannot establish statistical significance or attach margins of error to the differences.

Answers are self reported and concern whether something had ever happened. They do not measure current behaviour, frequency or the reasons for every answer. We also cannot add the percentages to work out how many people had done any one of these things, because the same person may have answered yes to several questions.

Questions about men, women and relationship honesty

Share or cite the relationship survey

Please credit Saucy Dates’ international survey of 45,526 people and link to this page when using the figures or comic. Include the exact question and population being compared: for example, “31% of male respondents said they had ever cheated”, rather than a claim about all men.

Keep country results tied to the country sample and describe differences as percentage points. For press enquiries or to discuss commissioning a new survey, contact us or visit our press kit.

What should couples take from the findings?

For a different perspective on what people want, explore the sex and relationships report by age. Our survey of penis size claims and estimates also shows why the wording of a question matters when interpreting personal reports.

We hope your relationship does not resemble James and Jessica’s story. The lasting point of the research is that the answers people give in private can differ from what a partner assumes. Motives and circumstances matter, and the seven questions reveal several different forms of that gap.

Our best advice remains to talk openly: about expectations, exclusivity, privacy, feelings and what each person needs from the relationship. The figures offer conversation starters, not a reason to judge a partner by their gender or nationality. Explore more original research on the Saucy Dates blog.